Giving Back

I just got notification that my student loans may be forgiven due to my disability(ies).  However, as I ponder my bachelor and master degrees, I have chosen to “give back” because I have benefitted so much with my education.  So I am on the board of my daughter’s preschool and a steering committee member for MOPS at my church.  These two ministries allow me to use my education in a way where I am happy to help out.  I also volunteer in both my daughters’ schools “behind the scenes”.  At my oldest daughter’s class, I make “Friday Folders”, and yesterday at my younger daughter’s school, I made signs for their fundraiser nights at a local restaurant.

Anyway, when we were at the preschool board meeting, we spent a lot of time talking about the “outdoor classroom”, a safe, fenced off area with plants, a make believe area, wood ‘cookies” for building, an extremely cool gadget board just right for little ones to practice their fine motor skills on, and a ton of other fun, age appropriate outside toys.  We had yet to come up with a name, but were looking for a name that would encompass all of our ideas for the outdoor classroom and also let the congregation (of which I am a part) know that they could enjoy it also.  We wanted the name to be somewhat biblical as well.

Driving home, an idea hit me like a lightbulb being turned on.  The motto of our preschool is that it is a growing place for preschoolers.  The name that hit me was to call the space God’s Room to Grow.  Just as the space would be growing and changing with the plants and flowers planted, as God’s children, we all need that time and space to grow and blossom in His love for us.  Just as the children in the preschool are growing and changing, we as adults need to be open to growth as well. 


(an afterthought -11/2010)  They have chosen a name and was not my suggestion, so I am saving the name to refer to our home's backyard when we buy a house next summer!

6 months!

-          Can now give myself a pedicure! (9/23/10)

-          Can stretch and touch my feet when I stretch! (9/23/10)

-          Feel my ribs, hips, and thigh bones when I lie on my side. (9/22/10)

-          Can RUN! (8/2010)

-          Actually enjoy getting my picture taken. (And I let my picture be taken in my BATHING SUIT!)(72010)

-          Feel cute, and am taking care of myself better, including new hair, dress, and make-up styles! (7/2010, but new look 9/24/10)

-          Am learning my bodies hunger cues and when I need to eat versus want to eat. (7/2010)

And much, much more, but I just wanted to give an update!

-          

Our New Home

In the past month, my family has had 7 visits to our primary care physicians!  For myself, I have gone 3 times because I have horrible allergies that turn into sinus infections, then ear infections, and then, this last time, pneumonia.  I’m on my second round of antibiotics and I am feeling better, but my energy comes and goes. 

My husband and oldest daughter are having some severe tummy stuff.  My husband needed to have tests to rule out gall bladder issues, but thankfully seems on the mend.  My eldest’s tummy issues could be related to stress (we are currently evaluating for ADHD), but she also stayed home this week because of her stomach hurting.  (She was later fine, so this is the last time she stays home without a fever, diarrhea, or vomit).

But my poor little one is currently suffering the most.  When she was born prematurely, she had issues breathing, and developed pneumonia a few hours after birth.  When she was 6 months, she got pneumonia and we went back into the hospital again.  At 15 months, she was in the hospital again with RSV and pneumonia.  It was then they told me she had reactive airway disease, which is a precursor to asthma.  Again at two years, she was hospitalized again with RSV and pneumonia. Over the last year, her Reactive Airway Disease has been diagnosed as asthma and we have gotten into a routine involving aero chambers and inhalers.  However, now she’s sick again and that means another trip to the doctor.  Again.  Which  means another visit to our new home, the doctor’s office.

Just another manic Monday

Well last week ended, and this week began similar to the week before.  The wonderful new medicine I was prescribed worked for a few days, and then suddenly quit working.  Luckily I had an appointment scheduled for Monday and I went to see my psychiatrist.  He explained that I must have a “smart liver” because over the coarse of that first week, my liver learned how to metabolize the medication, breaking it down into pieces so small, the my body didn’t register I even had the med in my system.  So he doubled my dose, and Monday night I slept like a baby, waking up refreshed. 

Last night, not so good. I went to bed at 9:30, and by 4 I was unable to get myself back to sleep. At 5:30, I gave up and came down to make my coffee (Starbucks new Vanilla coffee with splenda and vanilla soymilk = the same taste as a skinny vanilla latté made with soy – one of my faves!).  I also figured that I’d write about my experiences of late.

See, though I have been manic, I’ve also had a week full of changes and compliments about my “new” body.  On Saturday, my husband and I went shopping for my little one’s fifth birthday on Friday (I told her that instead of turning five, she has to go back to one.  She’s not cooperating with that idea.)  We went to Old Navy because of the 4 and 6 dollar specials on leggings, and he needed a new pair of jeans for work.

We got his Jeans and a pair of “jeggings” for my daughter, and then I decided to look at clearance.  With 30% off the lowest markdowns (most under 5 bucks), I grabbed a few t-shirts, a pair of sweatpants, and a pair of leggings.  I figured I would take them home, try it on, and then return what didn’t fit.  Imagine my surprise when EVERYTHING fit perfectly.  I am officially able to shop in regular size clothing stores!

Then, last Friday the Church Secretary watched me walk down the hall to get my daughter from pre-school.  She told me, wow, you are moving really great.  I told this to my husband, and he told me that I don’t waddle any more (Um, thanks?).

Over the weekend, I noticed I have shoulders (Hey, I haven’t seen them since high school!), I can wrap a towel around myself after a shower, and after I sit on the floor, my tailbone hurts because I don’t have padding around it as much.

Yesterday, my older daughter needed some blood work done at the doctors’ office.  While the nurse was working, she said to me, “Mom, I see you weighing yourself every time you come in here.  How much have you lost?”  I told her around 58 lbs, but I am not truly sure because I weigh myself after breakfast and lunch with my shoes on.  Then she asked, “How are you doing it?”  I told her I had a lap-band done about 6 months ago.  She told me the whole office had noticed and everyone is happy for me.

Then, last night, I went to my weight-loss surgery support group and was told that my excitement of my surgery was infectious and that I just light up the room and motivate others.  Then, another person added that I just glow.  Though I made jokes to deflect the compliments, inside I feel so proud and happy about my accomplishments.  Its comments like these that fuel me to keep plugging away.

Insomnia, Mania, and Lap-Band Problems (Oh, my!)

So last week, I started having a sort of a “reverse” insomnia-I fell asleep fine, but woke up between 2 and 4 and could not go back to sleep.  (I’m still somewhat having this problem, as it is 6:15 a.m., and I’ve been up since 5). Not getting enough sleep is always a sign for me that trouble, in the form of a mania or depression, is on its way.  Last Thursday, cue the mania.

Now, some people like their mania, it makes them more creative, better able to accomplish things, and at first, I did too.  Hello, super clean house in just 2 hours!  But then the bad stuff starts.  When my husband came home, he looked at me and told me my eyes were all bugged out. (Uh-oh).  Then he saw how clean the house was and asked me how long I worked to get it that clean (double uh-oh).  So I did what I am supposed to do and took my klonipin early and chilled out in front of the tv.  I did this Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.

Then Monday night, I went to bed, and had more insomnia.  Then the next day, my mind started going a million miles an hour, and try as I might, I could not shut it down.  I tried deep breathing, Yoga, meditation, calling friends and talking their ear’s off (Thanks, Mom and B.G!), taking a bath (and I FIT IN THE TUB!), all while trying to get a hold of my psychiatrist.  He called when I was in the tub, and said he was calling a prescription for an older antipsychotic med into the Walgreens Pharmacy.  I got there, waited a ½ hour, and then they told me they did not have the med and I could get it at the store near the hospital.  Have I mentioned how I do not like to be near the hospital at night?  By the time I got to the store it was 11:00 and the crazies (including me!) were out in full force.  It takes one to know one, I guess. J

Anyway, I went inside, got my med, came home, took it, along with everything else in my nightly “cocktail”, and went to bed.  I slept for 6 hours, but it was the most restful sleep I had in almost a week, and Wednesday morning, I was tired, but okay.  The medicine did not work as well on Wednesday night, but I must have drank 5 cups of coffee to function because of the tiredness.

On Thursday and Friday, I cut back on my coffee – switching to herbal tea, zero calorie vitamin water, and non-caffeinated coffee, and slept well for about 7 hours.  Yes, I am still up ultra early, and I do believe I may still be in a “Hypo-manic” state, as this is the easiest blog entry I’ve ever written, and as soon as the laundry room opens at 7, I will be working diligently to get my old children’s clothes prepared to sell at the consignment show, but I am thinking clearly (even if it is fast).

My last thing to share is my lap-band experience as I have gone through this manic episode.  When I have mania, EVERYTHING goes fast.  This includes my digestive system.  After I took the medicine for the first time on Tuesday, it slowed my digestion way down.  I had some carrots with my fish on Thursday night, and the lap band just would not let them go down, so I ended up VIOLENTLY puking up everything I ate.  On Friday, liquids were the only thing I could keep down, and then I couldn’t even keep down water.  I had no choice; I had to call my surgeon.  He had to deflate my band, and we had to flush through what was blocking the band with water and barium.  This means I have less restriction for the next three weeks at least, although last night I couldn’t even keep down soup.  So know I know (“and knowing is half the battle” - G.I. Joe), that if I have a mania, I need to work with all my doctors so this will not happen again.  *sigh*, I guess this past week really was adventures with mental illness and my lap-band!